My Dad

My father passed away the last week of April. He was 69 years old, which seems entirely too young.
It was sort of sudden, but then again, not.

He had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease almost 10 years ago, around age 60, and had gradually declined. We had been losing him for quite some time, even though his body was still relatively healthy. He had gone into a nursing home in mid-January of this year.  My mom had cared for him at home until this point. We thought he might be in the nursing home for several years since his health was generally good, but it was only a few months.

My dad's final two weeks went fairly quickly. People around him starting noticing a change.  I am thankful that the nursing home staff prepared us that the end was near, and we were able to be with him the last two days of his life.

He left this Earth with his loved ones surrounding him. In his last hours, we held his hands and prayed over him. We visited among ourselves and talked with him--my mother told him we would all be ok without him, giving him permission to go.  My brother played my dad's guitar, filling the room with the sound of music that had been such a huge part of his life.

As he took his last few breaths, his eyes flew wide open, and they were clear and shiny. They seemed to look at something beyond the room. I believe that he saw his Savior--the one my dad first came to know when he was in his late 30s.

We were sad to say goodbye, but rejoicing that he was finally free of his Earthly body. No more suffering or frustration, pain or heartache.

Thank you, Jesus, for preparing a place for us. Thank you for the hope and promise of Heaven.

One of our favorite pictures of my dad...

May 2012

Wait...it's December? What happened in November?

I did not write ONE blog post in November. :(
It was a full month.
How about a summary of November in one post...


The girls and I started November off right with a night out with friends to see Wicked.
It was my third time to see it and the second time for the girls, and we all loved every minute of it!
It just never gets old.

On the tenth, we celebrated the birthday of my oldest son. He turned 21 and is OFFICIALLY an adult.
(I know this because he recently asked for underwear and socks for Christmas.)
This picture was taken on his birthday. He's a great big brother--you can tell his sisters adore him. :)

Happy 21st birthday, Brandon!

Deer season is a big part of November if you're a hunter. Brandon took Meg to Missouri for deer season, and she killed her first buck. You can tell by her expression that it was pretty exciting. The weather was frigid, so I'm glad the thrill of the kill distracted her from the cold.

Nov. 24, 2013 -- Meg's first buck

I love having my oldest and youngest making memories together!

The rest of the family joined them in Missouri for Thanksgiving meals with all the extended family. It was nice to hang out with everyone and have some extra time with Ellyn, who had a week off from school.

The dogs thought it was nice to see Ellyn too...

In preparation for Christmas decorating, my mom and I went out on Thanksgiving day and cut some fresh cedar. It was a crisp, sunny day and the smell of the cut cedar was so fresh!

Thanksgiving Day -- Nov 28, 2013

Ellyn, Meg, myself, my mom

We headed back to Iowa for the remainder of Thanksgiving weekend and managed to take in a movie as a family. We went to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire.  

Much of the month of November was spent decorating my house for Christmas. Our home was part of a Christmas tour of homes in our little town, sponsored as a fund raiser for our local food and clothing pantries.

I will be posting pictures of my house decked out for Christmas very soon. I thought life would really settle down once the tour was over, but it hasn't at all! Besides the usual December hustle and bustle, Meg was diagnosed with mono and needs some extra time and attention when she's not sleeping.

Fourth of July 2013

We had fun spending time with family in Missouri over the long fourth of July weekend.  It was beautiful weather and we got to spend a lot of time outside. Lots of activities-- rides in the airplane, time spent at the new aquatic center in town, horseback riding, froggin', grilling yummy food, fireworks and root beer floats on the night of July 4th with both sides of our families.

It was good to celebrate with family. We had cake to celebrate my parents 48th wedding anniversary and Meg's 13th birthday (which were both in late June).

We took our annual July 4th cousin picture:

July 4, 2013

 They have grown up a lot since these in 2007:

And this adorable shot of all of them in red, white, and blue...
I want a rewind button!!!

July 4, 2008

God Bless America...

and my dog :)

December Goodbye

I'd like to offer a quick explanation for my absence...
my father-in-law lost his battle with cancer and passed away on Dec. 16th.
We are grateful for the time we had to say goodbye and the extra weeks beyond what the doctors predicted. We are grateful for the years together before he was diagnosed--especially that each of my kids had a chance to know him well. I don't remember either of my grandfathers, so it is so special to me that my kids have had great relationships with theirs. They will never forget the memories they have with him. We are grateful that his last days passed quietly and that he seemed comfortable.

Some of my favorite pictures from this year:

Missouri Adventure

My brother took us on an adventure last weekend.
We got the chance to see a pair of eagles and their nest.  I love having the opportunity to see these majestic birds and their giant nests...  something I never experienced until I was an adult.

It took a while to get to the nest, but we had a dirty, fun time in the process. I hadn't driven around this area where I grew up for years. It was fun to see how things have changed.
One thing that hasn't changed: dusty country roads.

dusty, country road

we saw the eagles before we got to their nest

redneck girl's bouquet

youngest and oldest...my two redneck kids

It was a fun adventure!

End-of-Summer Fun

We've done our best to squeeze in lots of fun in the last days before the start of school.

We made a trip to the farmers market in Des Moines.
(We're planning on a couple more trips during the fall.)

Each of the girls had a slip 'n' slide party, using a big roll of plastic and dish soap. We heard lots of squeals, screams, shrieks, giggles, and laughs. Ellyn's had her party after dark, so the whole neighborhood probably heard them!
These are pictures from Meg's party:

We made another trip to Missouri and had a fun time getting dirty with the relatives.
I will post more about this soon. (It was an adventure to see an eagle nest.)

We went to the Iowa State Fair for some fun and food. It was a beautiful evening with no lines.

Ellyn always gets a turkey leg:

This gathering of people, black suburbans, and fancy tour busses is due to a "surprise" visit from President Obama to the Iowa State Fair. Apparently he shook some hands, ate a pork chop on a stick and drank a beer. Ellyn (who was on Byron's back) and Byron saw him wave and get on the bus to depart.

Ellyn and friends saw "The Band Perry" at the grandstand:

And then school started! They have two days under their belts and its going well.

Mother's Day 2012

We enjoyed a weekend in Missouri with the relatives. It was nice to be with our mother's for Mother's Day. The weather was fabulous and the family time was great!  It was a great day for taking pictures and I am so happy that we got some great "mom" pictures.  Hope your Mother's Day was great!

me with my little darlings

Byron and our kids with his mom 

my mom and I

my mom with her grandkids

my brother and I with mom

Meg's Poetry

Meg wrote these as part of a poetry unit at school.
I love them so much and wanted to share.

This one is about my brother, Meg's beloved Uncle Jason, who died six years ago. You can read more about him in these posts.

His Laugh
His laugh,
makes me smile,
makes me laugh,
I said,
makes me smile,
makes me laugh,
the thought of never hearing it again
brings tears to my eyes
I said,
the thought of never hearing it again
brings tears to my eyes,
he is gone,
not to be seen,
ever, again.

This one is about how her brother Brandon reminds her of Jason:

See Him
I look at you
and see him
his eyes
smile
cheeks
even his shaggy beard
all of it
I love you
just as much
but we have ups and downs
you are one of the few things
I have left of him

Because he is gone
FOREVER.


and this one about the redheads of our family:

Red
I look at old pictures
in the family photo album
I look at all the RED heads
1Ryan 2Ellyn 3Angie 4Steve 5Jason 6Norman
so many
so pretty
so handsome
I love my family
sadly I am not a red head

Remembering...

My younger brother Jason died six years ago today. It is so bittersweet to remember our favorite times with him.  He was so much fun and we miss him so much.

This is a photo from July 4, 2005 (summer before he died) when my two brothers planned a camp-out for the kids. Brandon is missing from the picture--probably playing with the campfire. :)

July 4, 2005 -- Red Gates camp out with Uncle Jason

I am struck by how small all the kids are in the picture above. They have changed a lot in six years.

Cousins - July 4, 2011

Jason loved them all so much and provided so much fun and entertainment. If wishes could come true, I'd wish for a day with Jason and his nieces and nephews together. I am smiling through my tears just thinking about it.

We had visitors again...

After our Memorial Day weekend in Missouri, we brought back my niece and my parent's dog, Digger to spend a few days. He is our dog Mandie's brother. We had a fun and busy time while they visited. It was also dance recital week, so there was a lot going on. During the free time, the girls did some crafts and sewing. They also took the two dogs to Pet Smart for a visit. It was a great time!  Gramma came for the dance recital Thursday night. No dogs allowed at that event! She spent the night and on Friday we had to say goodbye.  Thanks for visiting us!!!

Five years ago today...

Five years ago today, I looked at this ugliness and brokenness:

My brother Jason and our cousin Tanner died in this fire. You can read about Jason in this post.

The little house that stood in this place went up in flames in a hurry--the fire probably started by a spark from a bonfire with friends during the evening. The house was engulfed in the early morning hours.  A house that had been a home to so many of my relatives over the years and was located about one mile from the home I grew up in.

It was Saturday morning, between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
My mom called me at 5 am--we were already in Chillicothe, visiting for the holiday weekend.

"Tanner's house burned," she said. She told me that they weren't sure if Tanner and Jason were in the house and that they were calling all the friends to try to find out where they were. She would call me back when she had more information. I was confused, my mind racing, wide awake. She asked me to start praying.

When we hung up, I heard the voice of God. He didn't speak out loud. He spoke within me. It was a dominating and commanding voice, and it covered all my thoughts.
He said "I am the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow." 

While my mind raced with details of what to do and where to go and who to call... I could not focus!
I could not think, because of the Voice that would not quit speaking to me. Over and over, He kept saying "I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow." I realized that those words were all I needed to know. While my mind screamed for information about what was happening in a fire a few miles from me, my heart knew that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow" was all I needed. I have never heard from God in that way since, but He knew that I needed His words at that time. He also knew that I would be listening.

We soon found out that Jason and Tanner were in the house. They were gone. Our disbelief and shock played with our minds. We could not see their lifeless bodies to help us accept. We knew what was true, but could not believe. While the world seemed to crash in around us, I kept thinking, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow." I will be in the palm of His hand. He will protect me while nothing else can. He will be my Rock, while all else crumbles.

Our world was dark and ugly and broken that day. Our loss seemed more than we could comprehend and more than we could carry.  At some point, I thought of that day, that Saturday we were trying to survive, as the day after Jesus died. It was, after all, the day after Good Friday. What must His family and friends have felt like? The darkness of losing the Savior of the world must have been unbearable. The pain of His mother...did it look like the pain I saw on my own mother's face? Did those who loved Jesus walk around longing to be with Him? Did they expect to see Him, only to remember He was gone?

On that Easter Sunday morning...the day after experiencing devastation...I realized that Jesus lives on. He bled and hurt and died, because of ugliness. Ugliness like the picture above. Ugliness like the feeling I had in my stomach. Brokenness of families who would never be the same. He could not be held down by death.

I realized He lived for me. 

He lived for me to be able to live on after tragedy.

He died, but lived on, so that I could find hope and go on with all the tomorrows He had planned for me.

Let Him carry you in your pain. Fall at His feet and weep. 

Cry out to Him with your tears and anger.

He makes all things new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

He comforts those who mourn. Matthew 5:4

He brings hope to the hopeless. 1 Peter 1:21

He gave us life to live abundantly. John 10:10

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, 

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

I am so grateful that my Jesus lives. 

I know that I heard His voice that day because of the ugly, broken, painful event beginning to unfold.

I know that I saw His hand at work in my life, as he taught me and changed me 

in the weeks and months after the fire.

I am sad today, because five years ago my loved-ones' lives on this Earth ended.

But I rejoice today, because I heard His voice.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
James 13:8

Happy Birthday to my Dad

My dad is celebrating a birthday! He is 66 years old today.
I am putting his age in print, because for a little while today, my parents thought he was 67.
Keeping track of your age seems to get harder every year!

Hope you have a great day, Dad! Wish we were there to sing "Happy Birthday" and share some cake and ice cream.

Nov. 2010

Retro Rooms

After Christmas, my daughter and I spent a couple of hours looking for treasures in my parent's basement. It was great fun to hear my mom's surprise at the things we would be interested in--especially the girls.

Both girls had been interested in adding an old phone to their room decor and I was pretty sure there was one at my parent's.

Ellyn redecorated her room as part of our remodel process. We pulled out her carpet to switch to wood floor and repainted, so she had a great opportunity to change things up a bit. She has added a lot of retro vintage items and wanted an old phone. My parent's basement did not disappoint.

She came home with an old record album to hang on the wall (you know...a giant CD, as my younger kids call them), a bit of my old bedroom wallpaper to put in a frame and an old dial phone. It is missing the cord, but maybe we'll come up with one at some point.

This phone once had a short cord, but I remember the day we switched to the long one. With the long cord I could stand inside the bathroom with the door shut for PRIVATE conversations. This phone has blood, sweat, and tears in it! Probably not my blood, but surely my sweat and tears. I spent hours chatting with friends, hours and hours. Until one of my parents would insist that I hung up.

It's pretty fun to see it hanging on the wall in my daughter's room.

Unfortunately for my younger daughter, the old green desk phone that I spent hours talking on must not have been saved. We don't really know where it ended up, but she would have loved to bring it home for her room. Instead she got the red heels that my mom used to wear dancing. They are so cute! She added them to her eclectic mix of dresser decorations.